Although I’d read that two billion viewers were expected to watch, the actual London turnout signaled this was going to be a real celebration. And it was. Impeccably timed, perfectly rehearsed —everything went smoothly but with such a sense of joy, this was modern pageantry at its finest. You just knew that everyone from the cheering crowds to the wedding guests was enjoying the entire spectacle.

Top of my list was, of course, the wedding gown. There had been so much speculation about which British designer would receive the coveted commission that British bookies were laying odds! Remarkably, both the design and the designer remained secret till the moment Miss Catherine Middleton, soon to be Duchess of Cambridge, exited the Goring Hotel.

I believe by choosing Sarah Burton of Alexander McQueen, she sent a strong statement about her personal sense of style and one that’s truly apropos —given her new role. The fashion house of McQueen is often described as Britain’s edgiest couturier but with a profound respect for the highest standards of workmanship.

And this benchmark of quality with style is exactly what Sarah Burton delivered in her timeless ivory silk tulle and lace gown, with hints of days gone by. The lace appliqué for the bodice and skirt was handmade by the Royal School of Needlework at Hampton Court Palace and is based on an Irish technique called Carrickmacross lace, dating from the 1820’s. I guess my one regret is that the exquisite attention-to-detail this artisanal work requires just didn’t come across on camera.

Perhaps the biggest departure from traditional wedding party attire was Maid of Honor Philippa Middleton’s ivory gown. For years, guests and bridal attendants have all lived by the rule that ivory or white is reserved for the bride and only the bride. Both Philippa’s cowl-necked column and the bridesmaids’ dresses actually echoed the wedding gown’s exact colour.

We all expect to see the lace bodice and full-skirted gown duplicated at weddings this summer — and probably for years to come — but I’m wondering if we may also see a new trend towards ivory bridesmaids and a departure of the ubiquitous strapless bridal party silhouette in favour of cowl necked columns?

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Just planning and staging so many events is a challenge in itself. Add to this mix the delicate balancing act of blended families —the groom’s parents divorced and remarried— and you have boosted the factor wedding planners call the sticky-situation-quotient. With both biological parents and their spouses in attendance, who gets invited to what? Who sits where? And what about the photo sessions?

But for the bride and groom there was an effortless ambiance at every turn. Clearly, top of mind for family and friends was to ensure this long-anticipated wedding-weekend flowed seamlessly. This is a first marriage for what I call “Today’s Couple,” both well educated, professionally established and each possessing an inherent sense of style. Naturally, there was an aura of sophistication. Even the guests — many actors and members of Vancouver’s art scene — contributed to this sense of chic. But what struck me at every event was the graceful blend of elegance with warmth, not so simple to master.

The actual wedding dinner illustrates this perfectly. Imagine a Merchant-Ivory film set (A Room with a View, Howards End) and you have a sense of what I mean. The bride’s silk bustier gown was a pinky-cream colour and the flowers — roses and hydrangeas in the same colour palette, arranged in a collection of delicate vintage pitchers and teapots — had a just-picked-from-the garden quality. The room itself was beautiful, with hints of days gone by but with nothing pretentious about it. Sparkling candlelight created an atmosphere of romance and even intimacy, rare indeed for a reception of this size. Everything was soft, almost delicate and captured, indeed, the bride’s vision of a sophisticated “fairytale wedding in the woods.”

This took months to plan, as everyone who has ever attempted to arrange a wedding understands. But what I hadn’t known till weeks after this special evening, was that there really had been magic in the air. Or perhaps a magician or two. Because of the inevitable glitches that seem to precede events of this significance, unexpectedly, the wedding planners had only thirty-minutes to set-up, install and transform the venue from an empty shell into an enchanting magical kingdom. Not so much as a whisper about what was going on before la grande fête. That’s what I call grace under pressure.

Merci beaucoup, bravo et felicitations!

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These are the individuals who organize and plan every function from conventions to luncheons and although the uninitiated may think this profession is glamour incarnate, the reality is very different. Military precision, troubleshooting par excellence and enough detail to drive an actuary crazy all define the professional Event Planner’s day.

During the training program, I gave a menu-planning workshop. Here’s a behind the scenes look at what we covered.

The theme was a very special dinner with a notable guest speaker. Just planning the menu requires far more than an educated palate. Coquille Saint-Jacques followed by pheasant may appear to pay homage to the occasion but things don’t always go as predicted. What if the speaker goes into “overtime?” The coquille’s scallops turn to rubber and the delicate pheasant becomes, to put it politely, drab.  A cold appetizer followed by the pheasant’s humble but resilient cousin, chicken, is a far smarter choice.

And another thing. What if the chef had never before prepared Coquille Saint-Jacques or pheasant? Talk about a recipe for disaster. I encouraged the group to work with existing menus, not to request something special or “off the card” as the saying goes. Stick with what the chef knows.

Next up, we discussed the menu for the same occasion but with a guest speaker from another country. Rule number one, resist the urge to pay tribute to the guest’s national origins through the menu. Doesn’t matter whether, for example, it’s Italy or Japan —stay away from the temptations of serving pasta or sushi. Instead, select something more local for the event and time permitting, plan a restaurant meal during the visit.

We talked about the pitfalls of the buffet for this same occasion. One of the inherent problems is seating. Notable guests could end up by the kitchen, plus, it’s next to impossible to arrange groups of people together. And buffets are disorganized by nature. Half the table could be at the buffet while the rest are eating.  A partial solution is assigned seats with something to start, say a salad, at each place setting, and then guests proceed to the buffet.

Today, most dinners are four-course, sometimes five and luncheons are three-course, four for a really special occasion. Regardless of how many times the plates are cleared, duplication is probably the greatest “misdemeanor” of menu planning. When there’s quiche to start, apricot tart is off limits. Never serve two pies. Same story for sauce: filet mignon with béarnaise sauce or asparagus with hollandaise. Shrimp cocktail means something other than salmon — unless of course, there’s a seafood motif.

If there is a printed menu: it should be placed on the plate over the napkin or over the napkin on the left of the plate.  At the top of the menu, it should say something about the event.

Dinner hosted by:
Mr. William Cooper
President
International Association of Publishers
In honour of
The Honourable Jim Bouchard
Minister of Intercultural Affairs
For the Grand Opening of
The 5^th International Conference
of International Authors and Publishers

And finally, although even seasoned Event Planners get the sidetracked it’s important to taste everything served. Some call it quality control; I call it common sense. Bon appétit!

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A client writes:  There seems to be a lot of confusion about RSVP.  I noticed this with two invitations I recently sent out.  The first was to an intimate bridal shower at my home, and the second, to a costly destination wedding.  I understand my experience was typical. Today, brides and mothers-of-the-bride must routinely call guests who ignore RSVP’s, even when a reply card is included with the wedding invitation.

Diane:  You’re absolutely right – there is tremendous confusion about RSVP’s.  Not just surrounding weddings but for all kinds of events.  Clearly, destination weddings do require meticulous planning and arrangements, but for most invitations if guests haven’t responded in a time-sensitive manner, assume they aren’t attending.  Of course, this can lead to mishaps – unexpected guests who just show up!  Then, there’s the flip side – confirmed invitees who fail to appear.

Client:  Many invited guests either ignored RSVP or assumed that not responding meant “something.”

Diane:  My personal approach to event planning is to take people at their word.  If 30 guests confirm they’re attending, I plan for 30, and no more.  It’s been my experience that unexpected or surprise guests often equalize the no-shows.  Sometimes, however, it’s a challenge to accommodate extra people.  When this happens, I let everyone know we have surprise guests, organize what I can – and remain calm and carry-on!

Client:  I’d like to think people have forgotten the meaning of RSVP. What can I do?

Diane:  After the event contact the no-shows – who had confirmed their attendance – and the surprise guests – who didn’t RSVP and simply arrived, unexpectedly.
For no-shows:
• Ensure they are well
• That nothing serious prevented them from notifying you that they wouldn’t attend

For surprise guests:
• Acknowledge you were pleased to see them
• Let them know they caused a last minute scramble – they definitely weren’t expected

Will you ruffle some feathers?  Perhaps.  Ultimately, both groups should be thankful for your graciousness.  You inquired about no-shows’ wellbeing and you made every effort to accommodate surprise guests.

Read more about RSVP delinquents:

Curiously, the “text-generation” has not adopted the RSVP acronym.  Perhaps they’d be more receptive to this revised version:
Restricted Seating Verify Participation.

Maybe you’ve had a close call, or close encounter of the wrong kind, at an event you hosted.  Perhaps you’ve headed no-shows off at the pass with a massive telephone campaign.  Or maybe you’re one of the lucky ones and reply cards actually worked.  Please let us know your thoughts.

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Perhaps it’s simply in the interest of avoiding rain that more and more couples are opting to tie the knot far, far away from home.  But somehow, I don’t really think that weather is the motivating factor.

That time-honoured refrain, made famous by the 60’s girl group, the Dixie Cups, “Going to the chapel and we’re gonna get married” has been replaced with “Going to Jamaica and we’re….”

Curiously, these travel embracing twenty and thirty something couples are often at the forefront of environmentally conscious, locally focused movements such as Slow Food, Local Food, and the 100 Mile Diet.  Socially correct in these environmentally challenged times, all these groups share a common goal of reducing the distance from farm to plate.

Now here’s the contradiction:  these couples are asking wedding guests to globe-trot – usually at the guests’ own expense – the same distance that they balk about a head of lettuce traveling.  And while the carbon footprint of the lettuce is only a one-way trip, the guests must embark on a return journey, thus doubling their environmental impact in comparison.

Destination weddings typically involve a stay of several days, often a week – especially when an all-inclusive resort is the venue.  Aside from the burden of expense, there’s a significant time commitment on the part of attending guests.  Then, there are health issues to consider when it comes to older friends and relatives.  Another touchy topic is the entire issue of gifts. Every guest “pays the freight,” literally, for the trip.  Can they possibly be expected to also buy a celebratory present?

Yes, I’ve heard all the arguments in favour of a beach wedding, or a Disneyland ceremony at Cinderella’s castle, or how Aunt Dodie will see the photos on Facebook.

Bottom line, in my view, destination weddings are an imposition.
“…there are some things that even youth does not excuse.”
Lord Peter Wimsey, Gaudy Night by Dorothy L. Sayers

Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the 100 Mile Diet:
http://100milediet.org

And now, for the dance portion of the programme – courtesy of the Dixie Cups:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GybW2yFjLOk&feature=related

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Sign up for my FREE teleseminar- How to Create a Professional and Personal Image Plan on Tuesday July 28th 12-1pm Eastern Standard Time- Check your time zone! * You will learn how to create a plan that includes- all of the topics you should be familiar with to get the professional and personal image you want to project.  Register Now

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