Everyone’s an expert on etiquette. Especially when it comes to introductions. Yet many so-called published experts don’t get it right. They fail to explain the rules of introduction — how to introduce your boss, your colleagues, even your grandmother— succinctly and correctly.
Often, these experts’ published guides devote pages and pages to introductions — how to address royalty, or protocols for meeting a diplomat from a foreign land. Good and helpful information if you move in those circles, most of us don’t.
Let’s first examine the world of business introductions. The less important person is introduced to the more important. And this is where it sometimes gets confusing because the most important name is always spoken first.
This is correct:
Mr. VIP, may I present Mr. Smith.
or
Mr. VIP, I would like Mr. Smith to meet you.
or
Mr. VIP, I would like to introduce Mr. Smith to you.
This is not correct:
Mr. VIP, may I introduce you to Mr. Smith.
In this case, Mr. VIP is being introduced to Mr. Smith and it should be the opposite. Mr. VIP’s name is stated first; Mr. Smith should be introduced to him.
This is correct:
• Robert VIP, may I introduce John Smith to you.
This is correct:
• Mr. VIP, may I introduce to you, Mrs. Mary Smith, our new sales manager. Mary, this is Mr. VIP, the president of Gourmet Pies Limited.
There are no gender or age factors in business introductions — “He who has the gold makes the rules.”
With social introductions, gender comes into play. A woman’s name is spoken first — a man is introduced to her.
This is correct:
Susan Jones, I would like John Smith, our block party organizer, to meet you. John, this is Susan, our new neighbour.
Age too, plays a role. The senior person’s name is stated first.
This is correct:
Gran, I’d like Susan Jones, our new neighbour, to meet you. Susan, this is my Grandmother, Mrs. Brown.
This last illustration leads me to a contradiction I recently came across in a published guide to manners — by a renowned expert. The book correctly states: “A younger person is introduced to an older person.” But the example provided clearly contradicts this — to paraphrase — “Aunt Joan, I want you to meet my roommate, Cindy James. Cindy, this is my aunt, Mrs. Murray.”
Surely the author meant to write:
Aunt Joan, I want my roommate, Cindy James, to meet you. Cindy, this is my aunt, Mrs. Murray.
A cautionary tale, indeed. And one supported by my teachers at The Protocol School of Washington. They made it very clear that many published guides had misleading and wrong advice.
Please let us know your thoughts.
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Posted on September 8th, 2009 by Diane
Filed under: Business Etiquette, Social Etiquette
Great points Diane,
Everything you explain here is basic – things we should all know.
Knowing certain things will just allow people feel more comfortable meeting new people. Coaching of any kind would help us be who we are and be comfortable in our own skin.
One thing I noticed yesterday at the Book launch in Ottawa,you were one of the few people in the room feeling comfortable enough to make eye contact with me so we can introduce ourselves.
Great to meet you my dear.
Lorena