Archive for February, 2012
Modern Etiquette: A Playbook for Modern Business Dining
Posted by dcraig in Dining Etiquette on February 28, 2012
Reuters
Pamela Eyring, February 27th 2012
The ways in which business gets done in today’s global marketplace is evolving at a rapid rate. Even in the midst of new paradigms and emerging technologies, one thing remains constant: big deals often come together over meals.
Given that a simple faux pas at the table can make the difference between being shown the money or the door, it’s time to review the Do’s and Don’ts of Business Dining. 1. Be On Time.
Timeliness is among the first and most significant impressions you can make at a meal or event. If you are the host, being there first to greet your guests demonstrates a level of professionalism and consideration that will be noticed and appreciated. Similarly, if you are a guest, arriving on time makes a very positive statement about your expectations for the meal and the relationship. No matter what Hollywood or style gurus might have you believe, nothing demonstrates a lack of respect more than being “fashionably late.” 2. Turn Off All Devices Before Being Seated.
Whether you’re the guest or the host, your dining companions should have your undivided attention during your time together. Your phone should never leave your pocket or purse during a meal, let alone see the top of the table. This is your chance to demonstrate that you value your companion enough to give 100 percent of your time and attention during the meal. 3. Follow Good Form.
Practicing good form at the dining table is a subtle but effective way to demonstrate your level of professionalism. Simple rules to consider include the following:
- Always open your napkin and place it on your lap below table level. Keep it on your lap at all times, not tucked into your collar. If you need to leave the table for a period of time, place it on the seat of your chair. At the end of the meal, place it loosely to the left of your plate.
- Use flatware (cutlery) from the outside in. Once you pick up and use a piece of silverware, it shouldn’t touch the table. When you are finished with your meal, place your knife and fork on the plate so that the handles are on the lower right edge (20 after the hour on a clock) and the tips on the upper left (10:00). This allows a waiter to see you are finished and assists during the removal of the plate.
- Never “borrow” food from another’s place setting. When you are seated, assess your setting with BMW (Bread, Meal, Water) in mind. That is, your Bread plate is always on your left, your Meal is in the middle, and your Water is always on your right. This will save you the embarrassment of inadvertently using or drinking from your companion’s place setting. 4. Savor The Opportunity And The Meal.
While you may be on the clock at work during a business meal, don’t let the clock dictate the pace of conversation or the speed with which you enjoy the dining experience. Instead, focus on making the most of this opportunity to connect and build your business relationship. If you are hosting, never pressure or hurry your guest in any way. They should feel like a welcomed and wanted guest. 5. Mother Knows Best.
Remember what your mother taught you. That’s right! All those bits of motherly advice still apply: sit up straight, take small bites, chew with your mouth closed, never talk with your mouth full, participate in the conversation, keep your toys (i.e. your phone, purse, notebook, etc.) off the table, and for goodness’ sake, be nice to your server.
While knowing how to conduct oneself at the table may seem small when negotiating an important deal or discussion, in reality, it’s a valuable asset. No matter where you go in the world or how high up the ladder you climb, discerning business professionals will always recognize and respect your professionalism.
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How to look good when you step down from a job
Posted by dcraig in Executive Presence on February 21, 2012
Globe & Mail
Leah Eichler, December 23 2012
When Andrea Jung steps down as chief executive officer of Avon Products Inc., she will end her reign as the longest-serving female CEO at a Fortune 500 company.
Last week, the global cosmetics company announced that the Toronto native, who has carried both the CEO and executive chairman titles since 1999, will step down as chief executive when her successor is found. She will keep the position of executive chair for two years and will have a role in choosing the new CEO as Avon separates the two roles.
From a historical perspective, few companies appear as synonymous with women in business as Avon, which give women the opportunity to earn money as early as 1886. With 6.5 million independent sales representatives in 100 countries, it’s safe to say that Ms. Jung served as a role model for many aspiring women.
But maintaining a positive image includes more than simply sporting the right lipstick and Ms. Jung’s graceful and professional (albeit slow-motion) departure offers some lessons on how to look good while you step down – lessons that do not apply exclusively to women.
“Your legacy in an organization, your ability to lead and be graceful under fire is essential for men and women,” observed Lynn Harris, who runs an executive development practice in Montreal and wrote Unwritten Rules: What Women Need to Know About Leading in Today’s Organizations. “I don’t see a gender issue here,” she added.
Avon’s decision to replace its CEO comes on the heels of a string of bad news for the company, including poor sales in key markets and two investigations by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. To her credit, Ms. Jung acknowledged her faults quickly, and by putting the company’s reputation before her own, she managed to avoid a personal backlash, said Michael Crom, executive vice-president of Dale Carnegie Training in New York.
“With some of [Avon’s] recent bad press … as well as significant drops in sales, [Ms.] Jung was able to admit that under her watch, the company had entered a downward spiral,” Mr. Crom said. To maintain her image, he said she should continue to be honest and upfront about her mistakes and speak out about how Avon can move past them.
While fashioning a smooth exit remains a skill both men and women must hone, it can be difficult to remove your emotions from the situation. Unfortunately for women, when emotions get involved, it does not go unnoticed.
In comparison, consider Carol Bartz, who was dismissed as Yahoo Inc. (YHOO-Q15.01-0.34-2.25%)’s CEO in September by the company’s chairman. After her exit, some questioned if firing Ms. Bartz by telephone was the most prudent approach, but that point paled in comparison with the expletives she directed at her former employer.
While both men and women can become emotional at work, gender stereotypes continue to determine what is acceptable and not acceptable behaviour. A similar exit by a male CEO might not have been perceived as badly, Ms. Harris noted.
“What seems to be acceptable is for men to shout and swear and bang the table. If women do that, they are out of control, overemotional and a bit of a bitch,” she said. While Ms. Bartz’s response would still have drawn attention had it come from a man, it’s unlikely to have had the same viral impact.
“One of the things I love about Carol Bartz is she goes against social stereotypes but she has to pay the price for that, which she is happy to do,” Ms. Harris said.
Taking a combative approach may be Ms. Bartz’s signature style, but it comes with consequences. Emphasizing that your online reputation lives on forever, Mr. Crom observed that the top hits in a Google search of “Carol Bartz” are articles critical of her behaviour, whereas many articles about Ms. Jung carry a more positive spin.
Ms. Harris advises soon-to-be leaving executives to seek help if they need advice on how to carefully manage their exit strategy, because it demonstrates their leadership capabilities.
“When you are in your next leadership position, you don’t want that legacy following you that you didn’t have the emotional resilience to manage your exit well,” she warned.
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How to flex your confidence muscle
Posted by dcraig in Executive Presence, Networking on February 21, 2012
Globe & Mail
Leah Eichler, February 17 2012
Referring to yourself as a “thought leader” requires a certain level of confidence, and there seems to be a common perception that women lack this quality.
I’m not convinced that women, generally speaking, are less confident than men. And I always hesitate to make any statement that starts with “women are” and then allows the speaker to fill in the blank with a variety of adjectives.
Yet several studies seem to indicate that many women do fall short on the confidence scale. Research by the American Sociological Association found that female engineers feel less certain about their expertise than men. Another study, by the London-based Global Entrepreneurship Monitor, found that women are less confident as entrepreneurs, when it comes to starting or running a business.
Ann Daly, an Austin, Tex.-based author and career coach devoted to the advancement of women, defines confidence as the ability to put yourself forward, in this case in the business world. Dr. Daly, a former associate professor at University of Texas, also views confidence as a behaviour, which men and women learn differently.
“Our culture loves to keep men and women in their place by differentiating them,” she said, adding that the gender-specific approaches to confidence are instilled early in a child’s education.
Girls, she explained, internalize the lesson that they need to get everything right to reach the top of the class, a phenomenon she refers to as “the gold star syndrome.” That early emphasis teaches girls that advancement requires perfectionism.
“Perfection is the enemy of the good, and it’s the enemy of confidence,” she said. “Women who focus more on the process, the work, rather than the gold star, tend to have a greater capacity to put themselves out in the world.”
To illustrate her point, she referred to a Hewlett-Packard study, cited in a McKinsey Quarterly report, which found that women believe they must meet all the requirements of a job before applying for it, while men feel they only need 60 per cent of the requirements.
Let’s turn the argument around: Do women really suffer from a lack of confidence, or are men merely overconfident?
A recent study from Columbia Business School found that men may have an easier time faking their level of expertise because of their honest overconfidence.
The study found that men and women alike lie about their performance, but that women do not exaggerate to the same degree. While the author of the study said men honestly believe their performance is 30 per cent better than it really is, the results also suggest that recruiters take men’s claims with a grain of salt.
“Women are raised to be more modest and if you toot your own horn, that’s not what nice women are raised to do,” said Vickie Milazzo, Houston-based author of Wicked Success is Inside Every Woman.
She said she often sees women receive a compliment for their work and then pass it off to the rest of their team. When men receive a compliment, they often say, “Thank you.”
“An easy thing for women to do, without coming across as arrogant, is to say ‘thank you’ when they are acknowledged and not underprice their contribution,” Ms. Milazzo said.
There may be a fine line between confidence and boasting, and knowing where to draw that line can be tricky – perhaps even trickier if you are a woman, given that social expectations of men and women’s behaviour differ.
“Men don’t worry about being obnoxious because they don’t face the penalty women face if they put themselves out there in a way that is deemed ‘unfeminine,’” Dr. Daly noted. While women need to constantly negotiate the expectations of their gender, they also need to keep pushing those boundaries.
Both Dr. Daly and Ms. Milazzo suggest that to avoid this bind, you should focus on measurable successes when talking about yourself, such as how much you have increased sales for your company, the number of customer accounts you oversee, or the size of your portfolio.
“Put down numbers. Those are irrefutable, they are facts,” Dr. Daly said. “At the end of the day, we want employees that will give us results.”
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Can I ask my dinner guest why she didn’t touch her food?
Posted by dcraig in Dining Etiquette on February 21, 2012
Globe & Mail
July 9 2012
The question
If somebody at a dinner party hardly touches their food, should I ask them if they didn’t like it? That’s what they do in restaurants, but my girlfriend says it’s rude.
The answer
As with any situation involving friends around a table, it’s a matter of context. Is this your former glow-in-the-dark-naked-Twister-league partner we’re talking about or your new boss’s uptight second husband? Is the setting light and casual or more formal than that? Either way, I’d probably ask: quietly and discreetly in a more formal situation, loudly and accusingly at a casual dinner with friends. (“What, so now you’re too good for my tempeh and mung sprout soup, punk?”) Whatever the problem, your job as host is to try and show your guests a good time. Maybe that means fetching them an aspirin, offering something else to eat (within reason, of course) or getting them a fresh plate without the half-eaten tomato hornworm on it. But you’re never going to know until you ask.
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Modern Etiquette: No Gluten? No Fat? Deal Gracefully with that
Dining etiquette is easy to cultivate
Can we bring wine to a party and not share?
Posted by dcraig in Dining Etiquette, Etiquette on February 21, 2012
Globe & Mail
January 7 2012
The question
Over the past few years, my wife and I have become wine snobs and regularly drink $40-to-$50 bottles. Our problem is when we go to friends’ homes or any party. We stand out because we bring our own stemware and people are always curious about what we are drinking. Our bottles are hard to protect in a sea of lower-end wines and we stand out as unfriendly if we do not share. How do you handle this?
The answer
Have you ever thought that the reason you “stand out as unfriendly” is that you are unfriendly?
When you bring wine to a party, your wine becomes the party’s wine. That’s why a party is called a “party” instead of a “drinking at home alone.” For events that don’t involve a meal, the solution is simple: A good wine-shop consultant will happily find you amazing bottles for $15 – bottles that you’d struggle to differentiate from the $50 stuff. Bring three of those and open two (one should be given to the host as a gift). Now you have enough to drink and enough to share and it cost you the same. If it’s a dinner party, the cook might already have wines selected for the meal; be sure to ask in advance. As for the fancy glassware, leave it at home, bub. Nobody brings their own stems to a party without looking like a total jerk.
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Modern Etiquette: No Gluten? No Fat? Deal Gracefully with that
Dining etiquette is easy to cultivate
Am I obliged to be friendly with strangers at my table?
Posted by dcraig in Dining Etiquette on February 21, 2012
Globe & Mail
February 17 2012
The question
If I’m forced to sit at a communal table in a restaurant or at a large gathering, do I also have to socialize with the strangers seated around me?
The answer
While you have no duty to ask after your tablemates’ families, health or take on the Canadian economy’s crippling productivity gap, you should at least look them in the eye and say hello when you first sit down. You should do this because, if you don’t, you’ll look tortured and pathetic or, worse, like someone from Toronto – I have seen diners here do everything short of install Plexiglas partitions to prolong the illusion that they’re not sitting next to people they don’t know.
Besides, communal seating isn’t all bad. That renaissance degenerate with the greasy hair and scabid-looking skin who’s eyeing your potted salmon from across the table might actually be charming and lovely or even one of the members of Nickelback. You could be sitting with a rock star (or a member of Nickelback). If you don’t say hi, you’ll never know.
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Modern Etiquette: No Gluten? No Fat? Deal Gracefully with that
Dining etiquette is easy to cultivate
Mind Your Manners While Dining Out
Posted by dcraig in Dining Etiquette on February 21, 2012
Mercerisland
February 16 2012
Last Saturday I volunteered as a server and wine steward at the Matthews Estate Valentine’s dinner in Woodinville. It was an opportunity to keep my server and customer service skills sharp. As a journalist covering the restaurant industry, it’s my job’s version of continuing education.
I worked under the direction of Eric Swikard and Jenna Barnett, who are engaged to each other, appropriate for the Valentine’s dinner. Swikard, the brand ambassador for Matthews’ sister winery Tenor, was in charge of the wines. Barnett was the chef for the night. Together they are Ken and Barbie but with substance and a refined palate to boot.
Swikard leaned over during dinner service to rhetorically ask, “Isn’t she the most beautiful chef?”
Saturday’s dinner was a reminder of proper dining etiquette. It is also a reminder of the rigors of the restaurant industry. Timing and teamwork are of the essence. Patience and pressure tug at each other all night. Anticipation of guests’ needs as well as sensing their apprehensions is critical to successful service.
It’s humbling to experience dining from the producer’s perspective. And I only had to pour wine and clear plates for 24 guests. My hat’s off to restaurant professionals around the world.
And that’s the first dining etiquette observation and a personal pet peeve; please remove your hat when you sit down to dinner. I get it, you think you look cool in your hipster knit cap or period fedora. You don’t. And it’s rude. Hats were created to protect men and women from the elements. Don’t bring the elements tableside. The attention it brings to your table is unbecoming.
Also unbecoming is waving arms, screaming across the room or snapping fingers to get the attention of your server. It is not advised unless you want soup on your fly–the fly on your pants. Most experienced servers are adept at reading tables, picking up on cues whether guests require attention or privacy. If your table requires attention, make eye contact with your server or gently flag the closest front of house staff and ask for your server.
While addressing servers, don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to your mother. Lewd, crude, misogynistic, condescending, offensive or oppressive language is off-limits. Treat the staff with respect and the service will reflect that.
Much of the arm waving and finger snapping are by guests who think they are neglected. Serving a round table of eight guests calls for etiquette. Women are served first followed by the men. Call it chivalry, call it old-fashioned–I call it proper manners. Gentlemen, I did not forget you. Your wine glass will be filled after all the ladies’ glasses are filled.
About the wine: drink responsibly. Know your limit lest your companions know you don’t know your limit. At winemaker dinners odds are there will be plenty of wine. Pace yourself. There will be plenty of wine if you want to revisit a particular wine later.
At finer restaurants with dedicated wine programs, wine is often served in fine crystal glassware with large bowls. Wine glasses will be poured a third, even a quarter full of 5 to 6 ounces of wine. I prefer 5 ounces of wine in a large wine glass than 5 ounces in a small glass filled to the rim. The large bowl allows the wine to aerate, open up and grow in complexity. You are not being stiffed when your wine glass is a third or a quarter full. It doesn’t mean you are a pessimist, either. Once you are done with your first glass, politely ask for a refill. Most restaurants will oblige unless you appear intoxicated.
To help pace your drinking, eat the food. I know it sounds like obvious advice. Unfortunately, guests who drink more than they eat present symptoms of intoxication by about the third course.
Make reservations if a restaurant offers the option, even when you think there will be plenty of tables available when you arrive. Most restaurants will hold a table up to 15 minutes after the reservation time. If you are running late, call the restaurant to advise them of your schedule.
When making reservations detail dietary preferences, restrictions and allergies. Most restaurants will be accommodating. The more notice you give the restaurant, the more accommodating they can be.
Should you decide against dining at that restaurant, cancel your reservation as soon as possible. Failing to cancel your reservation is like committing to your college roommate’s wedding and failing to attend.
Much like you had to coexist with college roommates, be mindful of your dining neighbors. That means speak in the appropriate volume, don’t answer your mobile phone and refrain from excessive perfume or cologne. Diners around you probably don’t want to hear about your job, business deal, romantic life or family life.
“Don’t wear so much perfume or cologne so people can enjoy the smells and tastes of the food,” said Faith Ramos, who has worked in fine dining restaurants across the country, including Campagne at the Pike Place Market. “You are at the restaurant to enjoy the food.”
Graciously leave at a reasonable time. Don’t overstay. Just like you wouldn’t want guests you entertain in your home to stay two hours past your bedtime, you don’t want to be the restaurant guest who is left two hours after everyone else has left. If you are thinking, “But, who would …?” Yes, that happens more regularly than you would think.
The end of this column brings me to the end of the evening; remember to tip your servers. For the record, I do not accept payment (including gratuity) when I work functions such as last Saturday’s dinner.
Restaurant professionals work extremely hard. Front of house staff are often paid minimum wage. They rely on gratuity to make a living. Furthermore, they are required to tip back the host/ess, bus people, the wine team and in some cases the kitchen staff.
Your gratuity is critical to a balanced restaurant ecology. Around 18 percent is standard these days. Restaurant professionals are consistently the most generous tippers, sometimes leaving 33 percent and in some extreme cases 50 percent gratuity. If the service warrants it, don’t be afraid to be generous. It’s good karma.
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Modern Etiquette: No Gluten? No Fat? Deal Gracefully with that
Dining etiquette is easy to cultivate
10 new rules of dining etiquette from Zagat survey
Posted by dcraig in Dining Etiquette on February 21, 2012
CTV
February 16 2012
For more than 30 years, Tim Zagat, the co-founder and CEO of the famed Zagat Survey of restaurants, has been helping diners find the perfect meal out. Now Zagat reveals 10 new etiquette rules that will change a food lover’s dining experience for the better.
Zagat and his wife, Nina, first started rating and reviewing restaurants in 1979. The attorneys have since turned their hobby into a gastronomical bible for diners in more than 100 countries.
“We ask customers to rate food, décor and the service. We have lots of filters to make sure restaurants aren’t voting for themselves,” Zagat said on Thursday on CTV’s Canada AM.
That search for the world’s best eateries has also allowed Zagat to make an interesting observation.
“I think people are using rules of etiquette that are out of date,” said Zagat.
To update those guidelines, Zagat offered these 10 new rules of dining etiquette :
1. Equality
Women and men should be treated as equals in a restaurant. Still, a plurality of diners say that men are treated better than women. The explanation given is that men are more likely to pay the bill and tip. How dated can you be? She probably earns more than you.
2. Paying for it
Whoever initiates a dinner date pays. Long ago, women were handed menus with no prices on them. Nowadays, whoever did the inviting should be expected to pay for the meal, unless you’ve worked out another arrangement in advance.
3. Ordering food
Forget gender — people should order when they are ready. Sorry, Emily Post, but gone are the days when women were expected to go first. Since menus can be long and complex, regardless of your sex it’s a courtesy to order first and buy your tablemates a bit more time to decide.
4. Handheld vices
Do not talk, text, tweet, email or surf the web at table. It’s rude, say 63 per cent of diners. A whopping 73 per cent advise turning off those ringers. If you have urgent business to deal with, step away from the table briefly to handle matters.
5. Kids, kids, kids
It’s fine to bring children to dinner in most restaurants. But don’t do it at places where they’d elevate the decibel level or restaurants that are meant to be romantic. Zagat surveyors split over the age at which children should be allowed to accompany their parents to a restaurant: 38 per cent say from birth while the same per cent argue five years or older. Tellingly, 61 per cent believe that restaurants should be able to ban children.
6. Dressing down or up
Dress casually. This is known as the “Los Angelization of dining.” Hardly any restaurants require ties and jackets anymore. The tiny minority of restaurants that do will not object if you put your jacket over the back of your chair. About the only rule that is left today is “don’t be a slob.” Alternatively, you may want to “dress up” to impress your companion.
7. Serious reservations
People should treat dining reservations as important commitments. Honour your restaurant reservations or cancel them on time. Holding an empty table for a no-show does real damage to a restaurant. If you make reservations and fail to cancel in advance, you’ll deservedly become persona non grata at the restaurant.
8. Okay, now get out
Don’t overstay your welcome at a busy restaurant. Take your time and enjoy your food, wine, conversation and after-dinner treats. Nobody should ever feel rushed. But interestingly, 60 per cent of Zagat surveyors nationally supported the idea of restaurants setting time limits on tables during peak hours. Remember, next time you may be the one waiting in line.
9. Long live chivalry
Men go through doors first and then hold them open for women. We know, we know. This is the one rule of chivalry that will never die, even if it’s been updated (men used to allow women to go first). Two people can’t go through a door at the same time. To women out there who find this notion antiquated, please, humour these poor men. Let them get the door — they’ll let you get the bill or walk on the outside once out on the street.
10. Remember you’re the customer
The customer is always right. Too often customers feel they are being judged by the wait staff. That’s wrong. Short of berating the waiter, you should expect to receive hospitable, efficient service and good food at any restaurant. If that doesn’t happen, take your money elsewhere and tell the next 10 people that you meet.
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Modern Etiquette: No Gluten? No Fat? Deal Gracefully with that
Dining etiquette is easy to cultivate
Modern Etiquette: The 10 Commandments of Business Behavior
Posted by dcraig in Etiquette, Executive Presence on February 13, 2012
Reuters
Mary Mitchell, February 13 2012
Those of us dedicated to such matters have long recognized the truth in John D. Rockefeller’s comment: “I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than any other skill under the sun.”
Lest this scion of another century be ignored, a report by Google concurred that its most effective managers are people first, geeks second. Google’s report brought Rockefeller’s words full circle. What, specifically, does it all mean?
To this columnist, it means following: the Ten Commandments of Business Behavior. They are, I believe, worthy guidelines for anyone’s career (even if I did write them myself, with apologies to the Bible). And I reserve the right not to deal with social media because it has been addressed so skillfully by my colleagues.
Here goes:
1. Thou shalt have a positive attitude. Everybody has bad days. Nobody has the right to take it out on others. Rudeness, impoliteness, surliness, ugly moods, unprovoked displays of anger, and general unpleasantness can be costly to your career – and your company’s bottom line.
2. Thou shalt be on time. Keeping others waiting is the ultimate power play – whether it’s a meeting, an email, a telephone call, or that charmingly Jurassic example of business behavior, a letter. In the end, it’s self-defeating. Everybody’s busy. Everybody’s time is valuable. Being late only makes you look like you don’t have your act together.
3. Thou shalt praise in public and criticize in private. If you intend to improve a situation or someone’s performance, public criticism is the worst approach. It serves no purpose except to humiliate the other person, and possibly lead to cutthroat retaliation. Remember that the office gossip looks far worse than those being gossiped about.
4. Thou shalt get names straight. We all forget people’s names. There is nothing wrong with saying: “Please tell me your name again. My brain just went on strike.” But there is something wrong with not checking on correct spelling whenever you write a name. That’s lazy. It can cost your career. And remember, it’s a big mistake to assume you can call somebody by his or her first name. We have four generations working in a truly global marketplace. Each generation feels differently about using first names.
5. Thou shalt speak slowly and clearly on the telephone. Texting makes us forget how we sound, or when we speed-talk. Again, remember those four generations in the work arena, as well as the diversity of cultures. A smile can be heard in your voice. So smile or you will sound irritated and put out. Not a good move when business is on the line.
6. Thou shalt not use foul language. KIND is the only four-letter word for the workplace. Don’t accept vulgarity, poor grammar and slang as your personal standards. They are three of the top reasons people don’t get hired. On the other hand, liberal use of “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” can be most helpful in one’s career ascent.
7. Thou shalt dress appropriately. Don’t enter your workplace without knowing its dress code. If you must, call the human resources department and ask. Good grooming is at least 10 times more important than making a fashion statement. Good taste and fashion are not always synonymous.
8. Thou shalt take clear messages. It pays to take time to be sure the messages you take are clear, correct and complete.
9. Thou shalt honor social courtesies at business functions. Etiquette is just a matter of common sense with a large dose of kindness. Make sure you respond to invitations promptly and never bring an uninvited guest without permission. Never be a no-show when you said you’d show. Good guests contribute as much to a party as good hosts.
10. Thou shalt be accountable. We all make mistakes. That does not give us license to blame someone else for them. There is no shame in admitting you don’t have all the answers. Yet there is shame in not being willing to look for them.
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Travel etiquette: flying with the flu
Posted by dcraig in Travel/Cultural Etiquette on February 13, 2012
FoxNews
Kimber Crandall, February 7 2012
It’s the inevitable predicament when flying in the winter. Coughing, sneezing, flu-like travelers are abound –and you’re stuck sitting next to them for what seems like a never-ending flight.
A recent online survey by the market research firm ORC International found nearly two-thirds of Americans admit to going about daily activities despite experiencing flu symptoms. “That’s really too high,” said modern etiquette expert Anna Post, the great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post. “We need to reign that in.”
The survey also said 45 percent say they would board a plane to go on vacation and 40-percent would get on a plane for business even if they were sick with flu symptoms.
“Flu spreads easily, and because of the proximity to others, traveling raises the risk,” said Dr. Susan J. Rehm, the medical director for the National Foundation for Infectious Diseases. “But there are ways to limit spread of the virus and your chances of getting sick.
Get vaccinated at least two weeks before traveling. That is how long it takes for the vaccine to take effect. If you are sick with flu-like symptoms, see your doctor for diagnosis and possible treatment.”
Post and Dr. Rehm give additional tips for how to avoid spreading or catching the flu when you’re up in the air.
Sick Seatmate? Post encourages those who are sitting next to a sick traveler to talk with the passenger about the situation promptly. “Stay friendly, stay easy,” Post said. “When you turn to them, smile and say, ‘I can see you’re not feeling well. Would you mind covering when you cough? Thanks.’”
She says it’s better to discuss this early on, but make sure your tone isn’t filled with judgment or disgust. Post suggests showing compassion to sick travelers by saying something like, “‘I’m sure it must be such a bummer to travel while you’re sick.’”
“Let’s face it, it always works better when you approach it from a point of view that shows you are friendly and sympathetic,” Post said.
If you’re not comfortable addressing the issue directly, the etiquette guru encourages fliers to take preventative measures that hopefully give a subtle gesture to fellow passengers.
“Keep some tissues and alcohol-based sanitizer with you,” Post said. “It’s also nice to be able to hopefully offer that to your seat mates, that can help prompt them to try to keep the spread of anything to themselves.”
Go ahead.. give the cold shoulder For the sick traveler, Post reminds you to try to turn away from other people if you are going to cough or sneeze.
“The idea of cold shoulder is to minimize your exposure to other people,” Post said. “Even if technically it doesn’t change anything, it shows people you are doing the best you can.”
Know the FACTS It’s common to confuse flu and cold symptoms, but Dr. Rehm says people need to know the difference. “Influenza is highly contagious,” Dr. Rehm said. “The flu virus can spread up to six feet away when someone with flu coughs, sneezes or even talks. And it can live on hard surfaces for up to two hours.”
The acronym FACTS –fever, aches, chills, tiredness and sudden onset–can help identify influenza. “This is the key sign,” Dr. Rehm said. “Flu strikes fast, unlike a cold, which could take days to come on. If you are experiencing a sudden onset of a fever, aches and chills, you should call your doctor.”
Post and Dr. Rehm also recommend downloading the “Fight the Flu” app, which locates nearby pharmacies and urgent care clinics, as well as tracks flu incidences in the area.
Hands down Classic etiquette is to keep your hands below your shoulders and avoid touching your face, which could provide health benefits as well. “This idea has been around for a long time,” Post said. “It’s still airborne as well, but that can help.” When the flight attendant passes out drinks, Post says make sure you don’t ‘pass’ along the flu by handing a cup to the person at the window if you are sitting in the aisle seat and aren’t feeling well.
Don’t shake Since the H1N1 flu scare in 2009, Post says it has become acceptable and even encouraged to avoid shaking hands if you have cold or flu symptoms. While you may really enjoy meeting the person in the seat next to you, don’t feel bad about avoiding the signature greeting. Post suggests saying, “‘Excuse or forgive me for not shaking hands. It’s nice to meet you.’ “You want to say with words what that handshake would have said,” Post said.
Stay home The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says people should not travel if they are sick with flu-like symptoms. Dr. Rehm agrees, but says if you must catch the flight, be aware of others and take precautions.
“If you have flu symptoms, it’s important to act quickly, see a doctor and follow your doctor’s advice,” Dr. Rehm said. “No one wants to be ‘that guy’ who puts others at risk for flu.”
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