Archive for December, 2011
How to work the company holiday party
Posted by dcraig in Etiquette, Networking, Tips on December 14, 2011
Globe and Mail
Rhymer Rigby
The company holiday party can be a surprisingly useful opportunity to enhance your career prospects and make valuable contacts. But it is important to get the balance between work and play right.
How do I approach the party?
“Remember that the Christmas party is not work,” says David Pendleton, a founder of Edgecumbe, the organizational psychologists. “It’s a completely different way to interact with people who you may normally only discuss tasks with, but it’s still a work event.”
Networking expert Carole Stone says it is an opportunity to build on existing relationships and to talk to colleagues that you do not normally deal with. “It’s an opportunity to look sideways outside your area. You never know who you’ll meet and what you’ll learn,” she says.
How do I work the party?
“The biggest area is connections and networks,” says Simon Hayward, managing partner of Cirrus, the employee engagement specialist. “It’s also an opportunity to use a bit of disclosure and to find out a bit about people and to build a bit more trust. Trust is a huge enabler.”
But Mr. Hayward says there is no point faking an interaction. “Don’t be manipulative, be genuine and have fun together. It allows barriers to come down so you can know people on a more intimate level,” he says. “When you make those intimate connections, it means you can offer favours and pull in favours. It removes formality and can be much better than a business meeting. There’s value to the individual and the organization.”
What about talking to senior people?
“If there’s someone you want to meet, this is the perfect opportunity,” says Mr. Hayward. “The layers of the organization are much vaguer. But remember it’s a party – make conversation interesting and genuine, don’t just pursue an agenda and don’t forget the marketing director is human.”
Ms. Stone says being tactful is important. “If you are sitting next to the CEO don’t say: ‘I have this idea.’ Rather, talk to them, then at the end ask if you can send them an e-mail or drop in to see them,” she says.
How formal should I be?
“Don’t be a party pooper,” says Ms. Stone. “Talk to everyone – and if you drink, have a couple of drinks.”
Mr. Pendleton warns, however, that the situation will dictate the level of formality – so be careful about alcohol. “You can be a bit bolder, but be personally sensitive like you would at any social function,” she says. “Avoid the mistletoe and don’t drink too much – in whole company events, serious errors of judgment get around like wildfire.”
How should I follow up with people I’ve met?
“Drop them an e-mail afterwards,” says Mr. Pendleton. “Remember: relationships are fed by regular contact. Send them a link that might be of interest or follow them on Twitter. It takes 15 seconds. Technology has made following up so much easier.”
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10 Keys to Stress-Free Workplace Gift-Giving
Forbes
Judy Martin
It scared the hell out of me the day after Thanksgiving. I walked into my office and I saw that a colleague had a package of red ribbons on her desk. Stress filled my body, the endorphins released and I knew there was no place to hide. Added to the stress of the work-life merge was the holiday bruhaha to be dealt with at work. That meant contemplating the office gift routine.
Like many of us, it creates an unwanted stress factor for a number of reasons.
- Extra cash is hard to come by in a struggling economy.
- Who to gift, and with what, is always a conundrum.
- How to do it graciously at work.
First, some guidelines before you take the plunge:
1. Decide on a budget, and stick to it. You might be putting in a lot of hours at work, but you have a personal life as well and family to buy for. Don’t break the bank.
2. Be Strategic in choosing who to gift. Only you can make this decision. How have you handled the situation in the past? Is it important or appropriate for you to acknowledge your boss or your colleagues? Really give this some thought. It’s a personal decision.
3. Don’t worry about what others are doing. If you are concerned, have a discussion about it with close colleagues. It’s understandable that you might want to follow the pack here, but do what you feel is comfortable. Don’t be so concerned with everyone else. This will just aggravate you. However, this might be worth a conversation with closer colleagues, you might all decide not to gift this year, to save cash.
4. Start Early: Make a decision about what you want to do and spend asap. If you wait till the last minute, you’ll spend more. I promise you. It’s up to you to decide when to hand out your gifts. I prefer to do it personally, and early.
5. Have a stash of extra small gifts: This advice applies to those of you who get uncomfortable if someone gives you a gift and you have nothing for them. Your call.
Here are some low-cost suggestions that go a long way toward securing workplace relationships. It’s the thought that counts.
- Be creative. Really, it’s the thought that counts: Think about what you are really good at – and love doing. My colleague can’t cook for beans, but she makes a mean chocolate chip cookie. Knitting scarfs for your entire office is too time consuming, but creating a bunch of small holiday ornaments or gifts with special messages attached, is a thoughtful way to acknowledge your colleagues, especially if you have a large crowd to please.
- Create a tiered list of giftees for budgeting: In order of importance, make a tiered list of your colleagues. Creating tiers help you stick to a budget. For example, you might want to get your manager or supervisor or boss a special gift or bottle of wine. Colleagues might go on the next tier and then other office workers that you see on occasion, might go on a third tier. If you’re stuck on what to buy, check out Gifts.com, for more conservative gifts, andOfficePlayGround.com if you want to head in the fun gift direction. One of my favorites is SimpleTruths.com which carries motivational and inspirational gifts for the office person in your life.
- The Gift of Time: Suggest dinner and a movie with a group of people. This in place of spending on individual gifts will save you cash in the long run, and also fuel a camaraderie beyond the workplace. This might not be appropriate for all circumstances, but if you keep the conversation light – you can manage it.
- Low-Cost Gift Cards: You don’t have to spend a fortune on these. But it takes a little thought. If you know someone shops on Amazon.com for their books, likes to download from I-tunes, or is addicted to Starbucks – a ten-buck gift card is perfect. They shop there anyway, and this small gesture can make someone’s vice a little easier to handle over the holidays.
- The Gift of Some Work-Life Bliss: Take a gander at the internet to find a gift that reduces stress at work. You can find shoe inserts which hit key pressure points on the feet to reduce stress. And check out essential oils like lavender or sage which can provide a quick aromatherapy break at work (be sure they are not allergic). If your colleague likes music - pick up a meditation Cd or perhaps a yoga DVD.
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Modern Etiquette: No gluten? No fat? Deal gracefully with that
Posted by dcraig in Article, Dining Etiquette, Etiquette on December 8, 2011
Reuters
Anna Post
Restaurants are printing notes like this in droves, and hosts are now googling phrases like “lacto-ovo” before dinner parties.
Dietary restrictions seem to grow more numerous every year, whether it’s a rise of gluten intolerance or a new low-carb low-fat no-sugar raw food diet.
Good manners says to eat what you’re served, and it also says to respect the beliefs of others, and especially when you’re a host, to graciously accommodate them. Contradictory? Not if a little tact and understanding are applied.
For straight-up dislikes when among friends, it’s fine to refuse a dish you don’t care for with a polite “No, thank you.” At a dinner party where the host has gone to a great deal of trouble, it’s good manners to take at least a little of every dish being offered.
Teach the concept of the “no thank you helping” to children, even for family meals-it makes it easier for them when the spotlight is on them as a guest.
Allergies are another matter, and can’t be avoided; your health and safety is a priority. A conscientious host will ask first-time guests if they have any particular allergies or dietary restriction. If the host doesn’t ask, it’s especially important for the guest to inform him of allergies, medical conditions, or religious prohibitions.
If the gathering is small, the dinner is in your honor, or you’re going to be an overnight houseguest, however, or if you’re severely allergic to certain foods (or pets), it’s a good idea to let your host know up front when you first respond to the invitation and give him or her a chance to adjust the menu if necessary.
“I’d love to come, but I should tell you that I’m completely allergic to shellfish”; “I’d love to come to the barbeque, but I should tell you that I’m a vegetarian. Could I bring a tabouleh salad if that’s okay with you?”
Always give the host the option to accommodate you or not. In some cases it may not be possible, so don’t take offense if it doesn’t work out.
For a small dinner party, offer to bring a dish to share. Say: “Thanks so much for the invitation. I should let you know that I’m a vegetarian. I’d love to bring a quiche if that’s okay with you.” This way, your host won’t waste time preparing the wrong food for you or have to trouble himself figuring out what type of dish would best suit your preferences.
If you’re allergic to a particular food or on a restricted diet and your host urges you to help yourself to food you know you shouldn’t or can’t eat, gently decline, “Shellfish is off-limits for me, but I’m enjoying everything else.”
It’s not necessary to inform the host of a cocktail party, large dinner party, buffet, or reception that you’re a vegetarian, mildly allergic to milk, or diabetic, because there’s bound to be a variety of foods to choose from. At the party, it’s fine to ask about the ingredients in a particular dish.
When your dietary restrictions are based on religious tenets, it may not be practical to accept some invitations. If the invitation is for a small gathering, you can explain to your hostess that you’d love to accept, but that you’ll have to bring a dish that you’ve prepared according to your dietary rules-provided that’s acceptable to her.
As a large part of entertaining is about being social, many hosts will encourage you to attend and bring your special dish.
If you don’t drink alcohol, ask for water or a non-alcoholic beverage (which are fine to toast with should there be toasts). You don’t have to give a reason for abstaining unless you wish to. Never feel you have to drink alcohol, even if pressed. The rudeness in that case is theirs, not yours.
The goal as a host is not to call special attention to guests who don’t drink alcohol. Also, be attentive to the seating arrangements. A friend in recovery shouldn’t spend the evening next to a wine aficionado extolling the virtues of every wine served.
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Modern Etiquette: Smartphone use not so clever in meetings
Reuters
Patricia Reaney
Smartphones, laptops and tablets have enabled employees to be more productive and stay connected but they also cause unnecessary disruptions in the workplace and during meetings, according to a recent survey.
An Intel poll of 224 human resource managers across the United States conducted by Ipsos showed that 42 percent have received a complaint about an employee’s use of mobile technology at work.
Nearly 80 percent said they thought the gadgets could hinder productivity and 85 percent said companies should establish guidelines for the use of mobile technology in the workplace.
“A lot of etiquette comes down to how you choose to do it, how you choose to say it, how to you choose to use,” said etiquette expert Anna Post.
The biggest etiquette offenses cited in the poll were mobile phones ringing during a meeting or presentation and workers checking emails or surfing the Internet.
“Even just checking an email that is off topic is obnoxious to people,” said Post, the great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post and author of the 18th Edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette.
Like many of the HR managers in the poll she believes company guidelines could go a long way in reducing disruptions caused by the inappropriate use of mobile technology.
She suggested companies put mobile phone manners on the agenda and institute what she calls the 50-10 rule during meetings — a 10-minute break during every hour-long meeting or presentation to check emails and make telephone calls.
Post also said during meetings people should be asked to turn-off devices and to minimize laptop windows not related to the topic.
“You need to take responsibility for yourself and do these things on your own,” said Post. “When management can come up with policy, all the better.”
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